Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
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and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
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koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots