Texts From Last Night

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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  She looked kinda like Mario Batali?

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  (250): She looked kinda like Mario Batali? http://tfl.nu/17rh
  Replies (23) Good night (608) Bad night (2893)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...

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  (810): I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work... http://tfl.nu/jjaa
  Replies (30) Good night (6265) Bad night (1103)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.

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  (785): The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart. http://tfl.nu/xj2p
  Replies (41) Good night (6348) Bad night (946)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting

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  (719): We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting http://tfl.nu/vcgc
  Replies (6) Good night (4912) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out

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  (970): And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out http://tfl.nu/oush
  Replies (12) Good night (6285) Bad night (1200)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.

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  (508): just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night. http://tfl.nu/ks6r
  Replies (4) Good night (2419) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.

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  (319): We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world. http://tfl.nu/rh6u
  Replies (12) Good night (2922) Bad night (1686)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet

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  (920): If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet http://tfl.nu/w7lt
  Replies (3) Good night (2074) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines

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  (647): I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines http://tfl.nu/pct1
  Replies (2) Good night (1570) Bad night (676)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees

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  (423): I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees http://tfl.nu/90bg
  Replies (8) Good night (2678) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.

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  (646): According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth. http://tfl.nu/o8r4
  Replies (9) Good night (647) Bad night (1433)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won

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  (774): Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won http://tfl.nu/tslf
  Replies (10) Good night (1466) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I will make you one.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it

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  (417): I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal. (417): I will make you one. (417): Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it http://tfl.nu/hpb9
  Replies (5) Good night (1050) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.

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  (336): He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear. http://tfl.nu/c1b0
  Replies (4) Good night (675) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.

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  (816): It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older. http://tfl.nu/1vux
  Replies (9) Good night (372) Bad night (744)

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