Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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