it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Its about making memories worth repressing
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.