in pain and im wearing pink underwear
i dont own pink underwear
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...