Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
