the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
