yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
