Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
