Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
