Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
