My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
