Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
