you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
foreskin is a definite game changer
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
