theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
