You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
