I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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