Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize