So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
