...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
