Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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