Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
