i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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