You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
