just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize