three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
