Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize