my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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