We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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