bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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