Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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