just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
