Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
They have beer where we have blood.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
