His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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