I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
