Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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