White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
