I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just pee around me
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Randomize
