Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
