Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
