So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Quick, to the slutcave!
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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