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Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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