There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
