Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Never joke about your clitoris.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
