I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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