All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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