just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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