So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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