I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
