Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
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Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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