Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
