Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my being single is dangerous.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
