Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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