You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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