He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
