i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
