you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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