I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
