Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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