After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize