Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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