So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
