Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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